I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
