i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
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I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
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I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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