You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
