Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize