I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
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When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
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Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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