Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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