His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
