Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
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If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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