She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
