State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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