I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
