Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
