i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
