Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
