i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
