I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There r osticjed everywhere
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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