So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Someone signed my nipple.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
