We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
