i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
