I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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