Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
