Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
