We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
