The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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