Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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