My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
