He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
