i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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