This girl is more easily done than said...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
