You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
