i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she peed on how many people?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize
