I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
