he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
