It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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