dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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