maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My bed smells like the plague
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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