its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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