Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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