No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
