So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
