She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
