I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
