And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she told me i tasted like america
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
