smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize