Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
then he tried to convert me to islam
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
