You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
