My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
