That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
