And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The adults are the big ones right?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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