A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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