I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm just crazy horny about you
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
