did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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