i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
