Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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