He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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