So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
